Congressman Jonas Anderson is planning to repeal the longest known law, the law of gravity. Mr. Anderson has been known for his extreme amount of power, but has been never known to abuse it, until now. Mr. Anderson plans to repeal the law of gravity, previously known as bacteria v. aliens, sometime late March. The people are infuriated by this. An anonymous source say, “God D@#$ it! That means that I’ll freakin’ have to buy a new car!” Citizens are getting prepared for this drastic change by using the duct tape and nails being handed out at their local Safeway.

Rumors are that the reason for Congressman Anderson’s horrible decision is because of his back pain. Mr. Anderson’s physician did admit that he had been complaining about his back lately. We tried to contact Mr. Anderson, but we got no responses. We believe, due to a reliable source, that the congressman is currently in Niger, having a feast that only wealthy white men can attend.

The public has been sending Mr. Anderson many angry letters. Some say stuff like, “You’re a selfish B****!” and “Go burn in Hell!” Emotional expert Peter Halkinj reviewed these letters and says, “I believe, due to my expertise in decoding emotions due to a PhD from Harvard University, I conclude that the general population feels anger toward our subject, Mr. Anderson.

His criminal record is also releativaly clean, having only 2 minor offenses, grand theft and 1st degree murder. From this, our experts conclude that this repeal could not an important part of an evil scheme. His brother, Johannas

Anderson is currently living in Mexico and does not have a good relationship with his brother, due to an incident that happened last year were Congressman Anderson completely forgot about

his brothers first name and created a law for everyone that is named Johannas (any form of spelling) to legally be known as a “gay f****t”.

USA government advises citizen to somehow strap down all items they do not want floating around the world. citizens are also advised to wear gas masks to keep from the inhalation of water droplets. For new information, go to www.gravityrepeal.com